Nobody really wants to spend their Saturday afternoon thinking about their end, but in some cases, putting off these conversations and decisions just means your family will have to figure everything out while they’re grieving and probably not thinking clearly.
It’s kind of like how you know you should probably update your will or get that weird noise in your car checked out, but you keep putting it off because it feels like admitting something bad might actually happen to you.
The reality is that having these arrangements sorted out ahead of time takes a huge burden off your loved ones and gives you control over how things go when the time comes, which of course, can be more in line with how you’d prefer it. You don’t need to become obsessed with planning every detail of your own funeral, that would be strange, but getting the basics in place now means your family won’t have to guess what you wanted or argue about decisions while they’re already dealing with losing you. It’s actually a kind gesture, and can help you put something together more in line with your preferences.
In this post, we’ll help you make it:
This is a collaborative post.
Write Down Your Basic Preferences
It’s good to have your general preferences in place, because it gives your family a starting point instead of leaving them completely lost and relying on things they think they know about you. Maybe you know you’d rather be cremated than buried, or perhaps you have strong feelings about having a religious service versus something more casual. Some people don’t want their family to wear black, and to have fun remembering them instead of feeling terrible about it all.
You don’t have to be granular, but you could write down whether you want a big gathering or prefer keeping things small, what kind of music you’d like, and if there are any readings or traditions that matter to you. Keep it somewhere your family can actually find it, like with your important papers or tell someone trusted where you’ve put it, or as part of your last will and testament.
Talk To Your Family About Money
Funerals cost way more than most people expect, and your family shouldn’t have to stress about finances on top of everything else they’re dealing with. You might want to look into prepaying for basic services, setting aside money specifically for funeral expenses, or at least having a conversation about what your family can afford.
Talking to funeral directors in advance can help you with this, and no, you don’t need to qualify your chat with them by having a lost loved one. You’d be surprised how many people they talk to in this context.
Choose Someone To Handle The Details
Pick one person you trust to be in charge of making sure your wishes get carried out, because having multiple family members trying to balance everything can easily lead to a conflict. Sometimes this might be obvious, like a spouse, but maybe you trust a sibling to get it perfect. This person should be someone who’s organised enough to handle paperwork and phone calls, but also someone who gets along reasonably well with the rest of your family, of course. Perhaps they’ll assign the same duty to you just in case.
With this advice, we hope you can see that having some basic plans in place (you only have to do it once) can help you ensure that even in the most unfortunate circumstances, you’ve thought of your loved ones.